There are a couple of lines in the poem the Desiderata, which keep coming back to me. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
I thought about these words tonight. I think of them in terms of my sobriety. We all have troubles. Problems in with which we struggle to overcome. Some, a few, seem so heavy, as to stop us in our tracks. But, as a friend of mine and I talked about today, there always is an answer. And the answer is the one the program gives us all the time. The answer is spiritual. That has been my experience.
There is a solution. When I came to this program, that was the first solution I found. I found a solution to my drinking alcohol. A spiritual solution. By practicing the Twelve Steps in my life, I was restored to sanity. From the insanity of alcohol, which drove me to this program, I found a higher power, which could and did restore me to sanity. I had a spiritual experience, as a result of putting these Steps into practice.
The BB tells me that, if God, as I understand Him, could remove that awful insanity, which drove me back into alcohol, over and over again, and gave me the grace to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, how much more could He do in the rest of my life. Sandy B. once said, that our problems don’t appear to be spiritual. They appear to us as financial, difficulties in relationships, legal, business, and so many more. They certainly don’t look spiritual. But, he said, behind each one they are spiritual. If we will attempt to live this spiritual life on a daily basis we will find the answers we seek. No matter how imperfectly we do this, the answers come.
We are not saints we are told. It’s difficult for a drunk like myself not to give into dark imaginings. My past was so negative. And my projections are just as dark. It requires a great deal of faith. Faith acquired from the hope I got from the evidence of other sober alcoholics like myself. When I look around and see the evidence of lives so changed. It’s not any material gain or success in relationships I’m talking about. It’s the serenity, the peace of mind, the reasonable happiness, the gratitude, the willingness to be of service. It’s the new freedom and new happiness. New attitudes. From the negative to the positive. And the friendships and support from people just like myself.
That’s where the strength and the faith I have comes from. From the hope I have found in this program. All I have to do each day is not take a drink, pray, come to a meeting, and be reminded of the solution this program offers me. To carry the messages I receive in the meetings back out into my life, so that I can better try to practice these principles in all of my affairs.
There’s more, but this is enough for me now.