One of the gifts I was given, even before I walked through the doors of this program, was hope. I can never forget that.
Hope has been something I have come to depend upon. It seems to show up whenever I have needed it. It appeared at my first meeting. It came up again, when I first read the BB. The Doctor’s Opinion bolstered my hope that I could get sober and stay sober. Then I read Bill’s Story. More hope. Then the chapter There Is A Solution. No kidding. More. And on and on it went. The 2nd Step in the 4th Chapter. Then the rest of the Steps.
My sponsor was a source of hope. His encouragement and support. The wisdom, which he offered to me. His direction. His example of what this program was all about. The old timers back then, who were evidence to me of how this program worked.
And what was all this hope about? Faith. I came to believe, as a result of all this hope. I began to see this program become the truth of my life. The spiritual awakening. The restoration to sanity. The Promises in my life. The freedom from alcohol. The sense of peace and contentment. The psychic change in me.
One of the things, which coupled hope and faith, was the 11th Step and the 12th. The proof that the spiritual life was not a theory. The ability to be of service to other members and being able to carry the message to not only new people, but even those in sobriety, who were still suffering.
And, I guess from all of this, even with my defects getting in my way, I was able to achieve a level of love and caring for others. I even began to see some ego reduction. Some. I need to emphasize that to myself. Still a long way to go.
Anyway, hope is a thought that is always with me. It’s what I call “near and dear” to me. When I think of the despair I was in at one time, when I was in my final day of drinking, it amazes me. That day, when I was in a black hole within, a man turned the light on inside of me with the words, “there is a place, where men and women meet and stay sober together”. That was the beginning.