One thing I was thinking about this week was something Dr. Jung said in the BB chapter There Is A Solution. It was in his statement about what the spiritual experience would do for the young man. He was talking about the changes, which would take place in the man. One of them was that his motives would change.
That made me think about my motives. When I was drinking, I never thought anything about what motivated me to do what I did. It wasn’t until I got sober and into this program that I slowly became aware that I had motives. Why did I do the things I did?
Now I was sober and, probably for the first time, I had to become responsible for my actions. And that’s when the spiritual awakening came in. My attitudes toward things had already changed. Now I was aware.
I found that there were reasons behind what I did. Like the
idea I could act out of envy. Or maybe jealousy. Why did I get angry in some situations?
Why this was important to me was because I sure didn’t want to drink again. Yet understanding my motives and my subsequent actions could very well protect me from that next drink. Like the BB said that eternal vigilance was the price of my sobriety, it was up to me to pay attention and my 10th Step was one way of opening my mind.
I know I can ask my higher power for help, but at some point I have to do my part. What is it that is part of the wisdom to know the difference? I have to become willing to change. Sitting around and being complacent is nothing more than sleep walking and the introduction to a dry drunk and eventually a wet one.
Anyway, as I sat in a meeting where they were talking about complacency and practicing these principles in all of our affairs, my mind went to why I often do the things I do, which can become a hazard for me. Thank God for meetings and the opportunity to wake up and listen.
I know I will never ever come close to perfection. I have no expectations that I will never make a mistake. But staying aware and attempting to change is part and parcel of living a sober life and I have to be awake to do that. Like one very spiritual man once said, “Wake Up!”. Or another way of putting it is in the BB: The spiritual life is not a theory, it has to be lived.