I just got off the phone with a guy, who is struggling to get back. He had years in the program, but lost it.
I told him about a friend of mine, who had ten years and then drank again. During his drinking he suffered a heart attack and that got him sober again and back into the program. He came to me one day and told me that he had worked the program vigorously for first 5 yrs. and then tapered off, because he had developed resentments at a couple of people, and then the group and dropped out. He then told me that he had picked up that first drink 5 yrs. before he drank it. And then he died a few months later after our talk.
My new friend talked about his struggles in getting back into the program. I can understand what he’s going through. It must be tough. Having to start all over again at the beginning. Taking that First Step, as if for the first time. I told him that’s where it begins for him.
I could hear his struggles within himself. His wrestling and straining with starting again. I’ve met people just like him. And some of them have made it back. Others didn’t. One told me that they fought a drink every day for the first two years back. But they hung in there and made it. I had a lot of admiration for that woman. She was desperate and wanted what this program could give her. Sobriety and a sober life.
Listening to this man tonight and all his fears, I had to be grateful for what I have. I know it’s a gift. His words struck home. I’m still an alcoholic no matter how long I have been in here. I’m still powerless over alcohol. And I know that the drink is waiting for me and others very patiently. I pray to my higher power that day never comes.
If nothing else happened tonight, it was a reminder to me to think about sobriety. My life and my happiness, my freedom, which I found in here, depends on putting this program first and above all else.