Talking to a friend of mine after the meeting today, he asked me a question. Did I have joy? My answer was yes.
We talked about joy for a while. I told him for me joy was a state of being and not a feeling. Happiness is a feeling. Joy is something else. I enjoy this sober life. I enjoy being sober.
To me joy is like gratitude. I might feel grateful, but maybe not. But I do act in gratitude almost daily. I go to meetings out of gratitude. I still need meetings, but being there makes me grateful. It allows me to give back to others what was so freely given to me. It’s my way of saying thanks.
Both of these, joy and gratitude are a far cry from where I was before I came here. There was no joy in living and certainly no gratitude.
While at the meeting today I thought about the first three Steps. It made me realize how great a role my higher power has played in my life. How that has grown over the years. How these Steps have changed my life, giving me a new freedom and a new happiness. Yes, I have gratitude and joy for all of what I have been given.
I also realized that I’m still learning. Still in the process of growing up. Still have a lot of myself in the way of all of this, but it’s much better than it was before. Talk about grateful. I think of what we all have to thank Bill and Dr. Bob and all those old timers, who went to great lengths to get this program off the ground. And here I am so many years later reaping the benefits of these 12 Steps and 12 Traditions.
Anyway, I had to stop and think about our conversation and all the thoughts, which came as a result. It’s all about sobriety.