Got a great reminder last night, as our meeting was reading and discussing the Third Step from the 12&12.
How easy it is to forget all the basics that Step offers someone like me. Just thinking about how my will power can cut me off from the help I really need can be frustrating. Even with prayer and meditation in the Eleventh Step being available to draw my attention back to where it belongs, I can still forget the essentials and why this Third Step is so important.
As we were reading that Step, several things jumped out and hit me. Especially, when I heard peoples experiences and problems with this. The one thing was how, after having been freed from alcohol, we still strive to solve our problems by our own will power alone. Then, doing that, we find ourselves still struggling and slipping into fear and undergoing stress.
I know that forgetting that second part of the First Step can be the source of this problem. That my life is still unmanageable. That my “intellect” alone is not the answer. That I’m truly powerless over many things.
One of the things I do know is how placing my trust in a higher power has changed my life. The help I have received over the years, which has given me so much faith in my higher power. The peace of mind, the moments of serenity, and freedom from so many fears I once had. And yet I can get careless and let some of the old ideas enter back into my life. The results? I begin to get edgy. Anxiety starts to enter into my life again. I find myself projecting into the future. What about this or that?
That’s what I was reminded about last night. I knew I had to once again renew my willingness to open the door and let the God of my understanding once more to care for my will and my life. That word “care” hit me again. When I related how I had missed that word early on, fearing I would become nothing more than a robot, several people seemed to catch onto that word for the first time. I guess, like me back then, they too were having difficulty letting go of their egos.
So, here I am today, having to once again to place that key into the lock. Willingness. Pushing false pride out of the way in favor of the spiritual solution, which keeps me sober. Grateful I had the opportunity of being present at such a meeting.