Often times I will be talking to someone in the program and am given a view of myself and what’s going on. I become aware of often I’m off base and need to get back on track. Not that I’m even thinking about a drink. But it leaves me wondering about the spiritual aspect of my program.
Then the other day a friend of mine sent me a prayer by the Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton. It seemed to fit what I was thinking about. Made me reflect on the truth of its words. Lord, I don’t know where I’m going and can’t see the road ahead, but I know that, if I have a desire to do your will, you will never leave me. Not the exact quote, but close enough.
I know that I often feel that way. I really don’t know where I’m going. I’m just doing whatever is in front of me. And I definitely can’t see the road ahead of me. Often don’t have any idea of where I’m headed. Just doing.
That’s why I try to attend meetings on a regular basis. I get to hear what I need to hear to keep me on track and not go wandering off this path we’re on. At the same time I have to ask myself, am I doing the will of my Higher Power? What is that? That’s when I need to base it on what I have learned in here. I get “directions” from what I hear at meetings. Do I have that “desire” stated in the prayer?
I’m afraid I have to be reminded. That’s why the meetings. It brings me back to where I need to be. Anyway, just thinking about this today. Again it’s all about sobriety.