From what I heard today there weren’t any takers, when it comes to favoring change. Change for me, as it seemed to be for others, was always a hard pill to swallow.
For one thing, change is almost always the result of a painful process. A lot of people laughed, when one man said that there were two things he couldn’t tolerate. The way things are and change.
However, as I have come to understand, that if I want to stay sober, I’m going to have to undergo change. That’s how this program began for me and still is, after all this time. I still find that I have to change. Change I have been told is good for me. Good, but uncomfortable.
Then there’s the question, what is it I have to change? Me, of course. I’m powerless to change anyone else. And what is it that needs to be changed? My way of life. Especially the spiritual way of life. Now there’s a challenge. But every time I find myself failing, missing the mark, I find myself being backed up and having to make more changes.
Like that one man said about neurotics, how they want help but won’t ask for it, because they know the only way to get that help is to change. They want an instant miracle. To be changed without any pain. And then we come to this program in pain already and have to find a new way of living. There are no instant miracles. It’s one day at a time, one step at a time.
However over time we find peace, serenity, and happiness. A new way of life. A new freedom and a new happiness. (I’ve seen that somewhere before.) A restoration to sanity by a Higher Power, whom I had to acquire, painfully giving up my self centered way of running my own life into hell. How painful it is to surrender, surrender, surrender, and surrender some more. And the result is always the same. A better way of life than I could ever conceive.
Anyway I was told a long time ago that I may have to accept change, but I don’t always have to like it. That is until I become aware that this change is what I wanted all along. It’s what helps me to stay sober. And then I find gratitude for the changes I’ve made. Often I have to ask myself, did I make these changes or did my Higher Power? And how about all those people I’ve met in this program? They had their hand in this too. All I had to do was to become willing and follow suggestions.
Well we talked about changes and I had to stop and think about it. There’s a whole lot more, but this is enough for now.