Today our group talked about staying in the day and gratitude. In a way that took me back to a couple of things over time. One was working with others and the other was the effect of the Ninth Step on my life. How?
Staying in the day reminded me of a number of things. Listening to others brought up a lot of things, like when some are projecting in the future and suffering through their emotional storms within themselves. I know I feel a lot of gratitude for the opportunity to be privileged to hear their stories and be able to share my own experiences with them. I know from my own history in this program the pain and anguish I’ve suffered from, when I drifted off to the future. It’s that two way street effect again and again.
I’m always encouraged by the many people I have known, who have gone through so much of this stuff yet never think about or are tempted to pick up a drink as a result of their feelings. I always think it’s their own experiences with being grateful for all they’ve received despite their fears or anxieties. Makes me aware of just how powerful our Higher Power is in our lives. And of course the power this program builds within us through the process of working these Twelve Steps into our lives.
Once again I’m reminded of these Steps when I think about the problems we run into, as a result of trying to forecast our futures and drifting outside of the day we’re actually in. Particularly Six and Seven, when my faults come up because of my emotions. How easily I know I used to get provoked into anger and resentment, when someone would want to interfere with my thoughts. And, of course, the spiritual axiom from the Tenth Step. Whenever I’m disturbed there’s something wrong with me. Takes honesty to step back and put that into action within me.
Then through all of us this process is the need to go to the Eleventh Step. To ask my Higher Power for the help I need. To stop and spend some time in meditation. To start my day over and get back into the present moment. To become positive and stop negativity. To once again begin to live the spiritual life I have been restored to through this program. And to become aware of the Twelfth Step once more and to see if someone needs the message we’ve been given.
And the Ninth Step? I’ve never forgotten the effect this Step had on my life. Took the process of years in this program. But along the way I remember that moment, when all of a sudden all my resentments were removed from me. I had stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol, for by this time sanity had been restored. Overwhelming, when I think about that moment. A spiritual awakening at the finish of a Ninth Step call.
Yes I am grateful for everything I’ve been given and everything that has happened in my life. Both the good and the bad, as I see it. I need to be able to express that gratitude to others and share it with them. To carry the message that there is a solution to our alcoholism. I never ever want to forget what I have received in here, as a result of coming to this program. I know I owe it all to my Higher Power and all those men and women from the beginning up until the present moment, who have contributed so much to my life.