Today I found I had to go back and think about the Twelfth Step. Mostly I thought about how all those old timers kept me in this program. How they helped me to change. I know I did think about my thoughts about helping others, but the real thought was being helped.
And that got me to go back and remember a couple of phone calls this week. One was from a friend in here on the East Coast and the other down near the Capital. And that made me stop and think about my friends in here, who have been such a big help to me. We’ve all moved away all over the place, but still stay in touch.
It’s really amazing, when I think about it. In the past, when I was out there, I never paid attention too much about people going and coming and leaving. It was all about me, I guess. That’s all changed. My friends are all over the place. We still share with each other. Really amazing, when I think about it.
I remember my sponsor’s widow moved and lived pretty much a long way off. But she continued to stay in touch and help me and others. She gave me a lot of care and love. I remember her reminding me of what was so important to me, if I wanted to stay sober. I had to remember, she said, that I was number one. No one could stay sober for me. Only I could do that, so I had to stay focused on myself during the day. And I was to remind myself each day that it was the only day I had to remain sober. She was almost 58 years in this program and probably 93, when she passed away. Yet she was still sharp and helpful to myself and a whole lot of people
I have friends down in Texas, Fla., in the Midwest, up and down on the East Coast. We all stay in touch, calling and writing emails. In fact I was thinking about this recently. One of my deep, old friends was celebrating a lot of years in this program. I was invited down to speak at their anniversary. I was amazed that it’s exactly what I did. Couldn’t get over all the people I saw and remembered. A lot of them right where my friend lived, but a whole lot more, who came from other areas. A very loving memory for me.
Anyway the phone call today from a friend of mine in another state was what made me step back and think about all those, who have helped me through the years in here. I can only hope I have been helpful to them and others.
I know that each and every day I stop and think about so many, who are not only in my thoughts, but also my prayers. Not just to seek help for them but to pass along my gratitude for all I have been given. And not just the help, but the love. The love I have received and which I can return to them. Reminds me of what I was taught early on, that I needed to get hope, faith, and love in here and to maintain and persevere in all three.