Once again I was hit with the thought of projection and the damage it can do. That was because we were talking about meetings and staying sober a day at a time. And the latter can be the situation for projection and the problem it brings to us.
Every time I would find myself in concentrating on staying sober a day at a time, and would find myself projecting into the future, my sponsor would nail me. I’m am so grateful he did. He would always ask me where my feet were and why I was not there. Projections he would point out to me were the reasons we find ourselves possibly thinking of drinking again.
He would tell me that I might very well have plans a few weeks or months ahead, but I was not to go there. He said the reason was that I would find myself trying to work things out, while thinking ahead. And that would raise fears, possibly anger, self pity, resentments, a whole lot of negative emotions. That’s because my mind would be hooked in and then going back and finding problems from the past and then I would be mentally out of control.
In other words he was talking about the Intellect over the Emotions. I over E. And he would advise me to stay in the moment, where I was, and not go into the future. To leave it, until I possibly got there. He pointed out that I could have a future appointment, where I worked, and that we could be working out plans there, but when that was over I needed to leave it there, when I went home. I had to remember to be where I was at any given moment.
And this is where the last three Steps come in. The Tenth to see my faults. The Eleventh to ask for the help I needed and then to provide me with the peace I also needed. And, if possible, to reach out and work with others, who were seeking sobriety.
All of this has worked for me over time. Didn’t happen overnight. Like they say in here, Time Takes Time. I have to remember how much junk I dragged into this program with me. But I am so grateful for those old timers in here, who helped me to begin to change from what I was, to who I am today.
Doesn’t mean that I’m not still human, who will often find myself tripping and stumbling over my old defects. I’m still an alcoholic and not a saint. I may be seeking a spiritual way of life, but that’s an everyday thing. One day at a time.
All this ends up making me grateful for all that was given to me by my old sponsor, and the rest of those old timers. But, moreover, my Higher Power, who gave me sobriety. He relieved me of alcohol, when I could not. I need to thank Him, as well as those old timers. And of course all those I have grown to know and care for in here. Thanks.