At the meeting today we were talking about the First Step and gratitude. That was then. But tonight I was talking to a good sober man about the same things. Amazing.
One of the things we both had in our ways, when we came in, was some lack of feelings. Like lack of love. And then some things, which overwhelmed us. Me? It was despair, depression, anger, worry. Plus the fact the both of us were sure we knew everything. And both of us got help from others, which did eventually bring about those changes in us.
We both got sponsors, who were willing to tell us the truth, even though it almost knocked me over. I had to be told that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. Plus he told me that I was educated beyond my intelligence. Wow! Talk about a wake up call. That was it. I had to learn to step back and let go of those things which were in my way. I was tripping over my thoughts and my feelings.
Anyway we both were glad and in gratitude for what was given to us. I heard a lot of that today. I know that I am grateful and always will be for that First Step. Not that I knew what that was. Because I came in when I had no idea of AA or alcoholism, for that matter. All I knew was that I could not stop drinking alcohol no matter what. It owned me night and day. And that’s when the despair took over my life and I was going to kill myself. And that’s when someone stopped me and gave me hope.
And that hope got me to pray for the first time in a long, long time. I prayed to God as I understood Him and asked Him to stop me from drinking and living an alcoholic life, and He did. I woke up the next day and the alcohol was gone. Five days later I was taken to AA. But it was God’s freeing me from alcohol I can never forget. Like my friend and others, we are all grateful for that gift and never want to forget it.
Anyway just thinking about all of this tonight. It led me this morning, as well as everyday, to pray and ask for the strength to stay sober this day. Each and everyday. And all of this because I am so thankful to my Higher Power. And also all these people in here, who have helped me to stay sober. Grateful, yes.Thanks.