Years ago I got a call from my younger brother. He was an alcoholic like most of our relatives. All of them up to this point had gone down, because of what alcohol had done to them. I was at a point in my life where I had caused a lot of rebellion in the organization I was in charge of and had just been sent packing by the president of our organization. So, there I was out of work. And then the phone rang.
Talk about almost perfect timing. My brother was at home up north and I was living down south. And he gave me a message, which changed everything for me. He told me he was dying and had only three months to go. Would I come up and help him?
Why am I writing this? Because at the meeting today a friend was talking about a very close relative, who was alcoholic and in terrible shape in a hospital. Another person had the same kind of message. Both, related to by others, had the same crushed feelings and a desire to do something to save them. So after the meeting I went over to the person who brought this up and told them my story. Because I wanted to help them.
What I hadn’t said is that I had tried to help my brother to get sober, but he just lost his temper and didn’t want to be bothered. Very angry. Nothing I could do. I probably prayed for him, but I had no idea what God’s will was for this. Now, years later at this point, I had an idea. But still really didn’t know.
I went up and also had to deal with my mother, who too was dying. So there I was, doing what I could, And eventually both died in about the time he said he had left. I never forgot that moment. I was in the hospital with him. We were alone. He woke up and looked at me and I knew this was the moment. I spoke to him, and first made amends I thought he needed, and then I held his hand and wished him a good journey to our family. And then he left. That’s when I had to let go and wept at that moment.
I say this now, today. And the reason is that we all have our difficulties. And they don’t always turn out like we would like them to. But like the Serenity Prayer tells us, we have to accept those things we cannot change. And what’s that? For one thing, other people. I can only change myself. And then I have to turn my life over to this program, my Higher Power, and those,who have reached out to help me. I have to learn to have the serenity to accept what happens in my life. Not always easy, but, as I learned, do-able.
Anyway, I decided to let this out to others, who this might help. Maybe not. But here it is for someone who needs it. Just to let them know that I had to learn to accept God’s will and not my own. That’s what got me sober. I was desperate and could not get sober myself. So I was given hope and begged God to relieve me of the bondage of alcohol. And that happened. A miracle. I didn’t do it. I owe so much to my Higher Power and the people in here, plus the program itself, I am grateful beyond my comprehension. I will try to help others and carry the AA message to them in an expression of my gratitude for what I was given. Thanks.