I had to stop and pull back. So often I concentrate on problems we, me, have. That doesn’t cover and do anything for what is a great part of my life. Peace and happiness. Good things, which have been given to me by my Higher Power and this program.
Of course the first thing is the freedom from the bondage of alcohol. The superior hold it had on me. I could not escape it. Alcohol owned me and was driving me into death. Despair and suicide. And then someone gave me information on AA. I had never heard of it before. In fact I had never heard anything about alcoholism. And that information gave me hope and that hope led to prayer and surrender to the God of my understanding. And that led to freedom. What a miracle.
And of course the next thing was this program. In the beginning this was rough and difficult. I wasn’t thinking about a drink. But I was resisting everyone and everything. All I knew was that I never wanted to drink again and I felt I could go on on my own. And that’s when my old sponsor and those old timers hit me. From them I learned how dishonest and dumb I really was. I had to learn how to surrender and begin to put this program into action. Like I said, not easy.
The First Step was already out of the way. I was introduced to the BB and the Second Step. The need for living a spiritual life came in, as well as my needing to focus on my Higher Power. And then the rest of these Steps. And like they said, this was not going to be an overnight event. Time took a lot of time. Not easy. Very rough at times. But I was supported by my sponsor and those old timers. Makes me grateful to think of this.
And all of this is what led to happiness. Freedom from not just alcohol, but my past life and the opening of a new way of life. I actually reached a spiritual awakening more than once. Freedom from bondage to begin with. And then the restoration to sanity. I can never forget any of this. And then all the friendships, and even faith, hope, and love. And it continues to grow over time.
And then the Twelfth Step. What was freely given to me I can freely give to others. And, for me and so many others, this is one of the greatest gifts. To be able to carry this message of hope and miracles to others like ourselves, is amazing. Not always successful, but it helps someone like me to continue to grow and stay sober.
And the meetings and people, the Steps, the literature, and this way of life, fills my mind and my heart with grace and often joy. And all this enables me not to stay sober for the rest of my life, but a day at a time. Each day is a blessing in itself. All I need to do is to do what I learned in here. To pray to my Higher Power and give thanks. And to this program and everyone else, I am so grateful.