One of those thoughts brought up today was faith. I can always remember what my old sponsor told me. That I didn’t know. I only thought I did. And one of these things I had no real idea about was faith. Like so many of us, I found out, we believed we knew what God’s will was for us. And as those old timers told us, we were way off base. That’s why we had such bad thoughts about faith in our Higher Power.
One of the thoughts today was about what was going on with an alcoholic in a hospital, who was in bad shape. Alcohol drove him in there and he still doesn’t want to give it up and it’s causing suffering in one of our members. And it led a lot of our members to have to face the truth that we’re not in control. All we can do is let go and let God.
I know I went through this and had to let go. And I did. That’s because all those old timers were able to help me come to believe. For instance, if we pray the Serenity Prayer, do we believe that? I know I do. I believe sincerely that I really cannot change others. There is so much in this world I cannot change even if I want to and believe I can. Not in my history I know. I can look back and see this and it helps me to let go.
I love that one prayer by the monk, Thomas Merton. In it he states, “Nor do I know myself, and the fact I believe I’m doing your will doesn’t mean I’m actually doing so”. What a true statement that can be for someone like myself. I have to remember that I have to work on faith, if I want to stay sober. Its’ part of the spiritual life we need to be a part of in this program. The Second Step.
Anyway I was thinking about this then and now. In fact it’s never that far away from my mind. But one of the great things in this program makes it easier for someone like me. I only have to stay sober today. I can’t go any further than right now. Tomorrow is not here at the moment. What is is this moment. Not the past either. Just now. Makes me grateful because it simplifies my mind and my thoughts. I must not project into the future. That’s what tears us up by filling us with negative emotions. By staying here I can avoid them.
What is going on in my life is right now. I learned that I can depend on my Higher Power. I had to learn to become dependent on Hope, Faith, and Love. It works, as I grew in this program. And I need to be grateful and thank my Higher Power, and this program, and all the people in it, who have helped me. Thanks.