Talking about the Second Step today brought a lot of the truth and the past into the moment.
When I came into this program, I had never heard about it or alcoholism, until I arrived. I had surrendered to the First Step, I found out later, one hundred percent. So, when I got here I felt I knew what I was doing. So I had decided that I would never drink again, not realizing how dangerous that thought was. Plus I had no idea of a spiritual solution. So there I was wandering around with all this junk inside of me.
After a while in here, where they had to tell me to shut up, I finally got the sponsor I later realized I so desperately needed. He nailed me for my thinking and my way of acting. When he told me to pick up the BB and not to read it…but to study it, I finally did. And that’s when a lot of truth came out and helped me to change.
I think that chapter, which had that young man, who went and saw Dr. Jung, who told him he was a chronic alcoholic. And that word “chronic” hit me. I suddenly realized the disease I had which owned me. And then he told the young man he needed to have a spiritual awakening. And the young man did get there. It was him, who had indirectly reached Bill W. that led to the program of AA. He showed Ebby T. what he could about the spiritual way of life. And Ebby came down and told and showed Bill.
And then, with urging from my sponsor, I got into that fourth chapter and the Second Step. For me that was the beginning of entering into a spiritual way of life. Like it said, either that or death from alcohol. I had already been there, so I began to open my life to this. I read that chapter and found myself in what it said. That’s what opened the door to my Higher Power. And later on in this program I found a restoration to sanity.
I know I always emphasize this Step. That’s because it opened the door to the rest of this program. Very much like the woman sponsor to a young woman in a meeting, who one night did the same for her with the Third Step. That young woman asked her, what was God’s will for her. That woman said, the other nine Steps. And, because of the Second Step, what she said opened the rest of the program for me. Never want to forget that.
All of this helped me to change my whole life. I began to practice staying sober a day at a time rather than thinking I knew that I was supposed to believe I could stay sober the rest of my life. I can a day at a time, but not fixing this in my head thinking I never had to ever do anything more than that. The day at a time woke me up. Plus I began to start a spiritual life with a Higher Power. And then to clean my house. Finally to be able to practice this program each and everyday. Plus being given all the gifts I have received in here, like peace and happiness.
Anyway I always have that Second Step almost everyday. Living this program staying sober a day at a time is a wake up call. And the greatest gifts I have been given is love and gratitude. That and hope and faith. I need to thank my old sponsor for helping me to go there and to begin to really live this program. And to thank my Higher Power, whom he helped open the door to.