Had several talks lately, which brought a lot of things up about us working with others and helping them. It also brought out what causes the struggles so many of us go through. First the trouble most of us go through early on, and then those which come into our lives later. It was these we talked about.
What we were talking about was our beginning to get somewhat free of the things which came through these doors with us. I know how I was back then. My Fourth and Fifth Steps and all the troubles I had with what I had written and those I forgot and then appeared later on. And then how I found myself weighed down and having a hard time over time in here, until the relief I was given after the Ninth Step, which took time.
And then, when I was receiving all the gifts the program seems to give us, peace and happiness, faith, hope, and love, and our being free of trying to control, with the peace of mind and heart…and then the sudden opening of what appears to be hidden knowledge of what seemed to be stumbling blocks I felt unaware of. Some of this I discovered was spiritual. And some of this was my way of thinking and acting, which I found I was always living, but unaware of. And all this made me having to face continued change.
What was all of this about? My relationship with my Higher Power and my spiritual life in here, as well as everyone else I know on this earth. Like I said, we talked about all of this, and we all are at different stages of changing. I know that I have come to more peace than I have ever had. And, I think it’s a better knowledge of why we are here and the changes we all need to make to improve this life within and without this program.
I’ll stop for now. Just thinking about this reminds me of why I came here in the first place. To cherish and grow in this living a sober life. To live this way a day at a time. To remain in the present and not in the future. To grow in compassion and love, and hopefully heal our lives. To attend meetings and listen and share. To freely give what was freely given to us. To let go and let God of our understanding take over. And to give thanks to Him and all the others, who have helped us to grow in here. Thanks.