The other night we went to a BB meeting. Four of us. It was like a miracle in a way, because it led to a great sharing by all of us, in Chapter 4, We Agnostics.
Took me back to where I was able to surrender to my Higher Power. To let go and let God. Once again I knew nothing about the disease I had of alcoholism. Nor did I know anything about AA. It was a gift given to me by another alcoholic friend, who had just heard about men and women meeting and staying sober together. That gave me hope. It overcame my being suicidal.
Like the book tells us, our lack of power had overwhelmed me and I had to reach out and pray and let go of alcohol, and ask the God of my understanding for the help I needed. And the miracle? My alcoholism was stilled. I woke up the next day and haven’t had a drink of alcohol since then. Amazing.
That statement, “Lack of power, that was our dilemma.”, is awful real. I heard about it from a few that night, and have known many over my time in here. I’ve come to understand how we believe we can control everything. I know from personal inventories and my old sponsor how my over-sized ego thought I could take care of everything. What idiocy that was. As a result of my alcoholism, I never knew the truth about anything back then.
However that Chapter 4 introduced me to the Second Step. It was the beginning of a long lasting miracle in my life. It introduced me to a spiritual way of life and helped me to begin to recognize the God of my understanding. Over time it taught me to Let Go and Let God. I had to step back and stop thinking I knew what I did need to do. I didn’t. But I began to learn in here.
Anyway, it reminded me, at the meeting, of what it is I began to learn and do. It was a freedom from drinking alcohol. And, like my sponsor and so many others taught me, I was to stay sober a day at a time. And it all really began when my sponsor also taught me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. I had to learn to listen and begin to let go of all that junk I brought into this program. I had to change.
That meeting was a great inspiration of gratitude for me. I owe my Higher Power, this program, and so many others in here for what I have needed over time, to express my thanks and do what I need to do. To work these Steps and be open to freely give this program to those who, not only need sobriety, but want it. Just like the four of us did.