Once again I was given an opportunity to talk about the greatest gift I have been given in this program. That was kind of what was the purpose of the meeting today. One person wanted us to help them by revealing what they have received in this program, which they found important for them. Lots of things were expressed.
For myself I can only go back to what it was that I can never forget. And that was being set free from alcohol, which so dominated my life that I could no longer stand it. I was going to commit suicide in order to free myself from the hold alcohol had on me. I could not stop drinking no matter what.
When I was given the gift of hope by an alcoholic friend of mine, I stopped from going to killing myself. He told me that he had heard that there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober together and that he would take me there. That opened the door on something I rarely thought of, and that was prayer. I went home and in private turned my will and my life over to the God of my understanding to be freed of alcohol. The next morning I woke up and was free of alcohol. I still am. Amazing.
I have received many “gifts” in here, but it was the first one, the freedom from alcohol, which still stands out in my mind. That prayer, which was a total surrender, is always there in my mind.
I can never forget and I never want to forget. A true spiritual awakening. But there was one moment, a long time ago, when what the BB tells us, that there may come a time when we will have no mental defense against a drink of alcohol, and that happened to me.
We were out for a dinner, where everyone drank, except myself and one other person. I wasn’t thinking about a drink, but after dinner the owner told us to open the lockers and help ourselves. They did. All took bottles of beer, but tossed a soda to me. It was like I was hit with lightening. Suddenly I was filled with rage and was going to rip open a locker and grab a beer. That’s when my wife saw my facial expression and asked me what was wrong. I told her and she told me I needed to step outside and say a prayer. I took a deep breath and did. And in a quick moment I was freed from the grip that alcohol had on me. Another miracle and I owed my wife thanks.
Anyway, I had to express my gratitude to the group today. Short and to the point. It’s still what helps me to think about each day. Staying sober for this day, as I was told. It’s why I am here to begin with. A spiritual awakening for this alcoholic. Always. Never want to forget. I owe my Higher Power, this program, and the people in it for the help I have received… my gratitude. Thanks.