It was many years ago that I read a woman’s story of her achieving her sobriety. Great story for this alcoholic…and I’m sure many others, because it had been reprinted in two other editions of the BB. But what struck me was her last thoughts about her resentment against her mother and the solution.
Her story, Freedom From Bondage, is now at the end of the last edition I received from AA. I mean, here I had read it over a few times in here, but today I happened to open the copy I have now and read it again, which reminded me of my own problems back a few years, after I got sober. It was when my first sponsor went back out and drank again and died. The thing which drove him out was a resentment. It woke me up.
I got a second sponsor, who was the one, who really opened my mind and showed me just how untruthful I was. Especially about what took my first sponsor out. I suddenly discovered that I had been living my alcoholism out there, and then in the program in here, with the negative emotions my first sponsor had.
I really didn’t know that, but my sponsor knew what it was that drove so many alcoholics back to drinking alcohol again, and he wanted to save me by helping me to change. He not only told me that I wasn’t being honest, which stunned me, but opened my mind. And then he helped me to first begin to live a spiritual way of life with that Second Step in the BB. I did and it opened the door to this program for me.
As my thoughts began to change, and I had finally gone through the Third Step, I started to learn what was wrong with me and how to change. Time took time, as it always does, as I learned to begin to live a day at a time staying sober. And my sponsor began to help me learn how to deal with these negative emotions. He and old timers in here worked on me.
The results are fairly similar to what that woman wrote. I mean, I have peace of mind and happiness, as a result of following the directions I was given, plus the Steps themselves. I have been so much in terms of gifts, which have helped change my mind. Not that I can sometimes get tripped up and stumble, because I am still a human alcoholic and not a saint. I was told this will happen over and over again, right up until I die sober.
However I have received so many spiritual gifts from my Higher Power and the help I have been given by my old sponsor, those old timers, and so many others, who over time have reached out and helped me. I can never forget and need to be grateful and say “Thanks”. And also follow my God’s will for me, and practice being able to help others whenever I can. To practice humility and give compassion and love to newcomers and others in this program. I have learned to laugh at myself, which seems to help also.