Today we got caught up in having to learn how to change and let go of those we know, rather than deal with them with anger and resentments. I learned in here, long time ago, that it’s our failure to deal with this, which led many of us back to drinking again.
I know that, when I came into this program, I was full of all the wrong things. I had negative thoughts and emotions running my life. I was totally unaware of this. And I also lacked what I needed, and that was a spiritual way of life. Total dishonesty and a total lack of help I so desperately needed.
I knew nothing about the changes I needed to help me to grow and live a sober life. I really was not able to think sanely. The lies within me, which were running my life, had me on the edge of a great danger. I was going to have to wake up and to begin to turn my life over to a concept of the God of my understanding, and to start to learn I could never change anyone or anything, except myself.
Fortunately I was introduced to the alcoholic, who became my old sponsor. Never want to forget this man and his wife. Both had good sobriety and knew a lot I needed to learn, in order to change and rescue me from what was wrong within me. And that was when I was introduced to the Second Step. It was this, which was what helped me to begin to live a spiritual way of life, and come to relate to a Power Greater than myself.
Then I started to learn what was crippling my thinking and my way of living. And that was because I had so many negative thoughts and emotions. Up until this point I thought I knew what I was doing. Not right for sure. I had a lying mind controlled by the negative ideas and thinking within me. My mind and my life were being run by the negative emotions located within my mind. I had failed to grow into truthful thinking. Rational thinking. I was going to have to change.
Time took time, but I stuck with it. Only living a day at a time, I found out that I had a long long way to go. But these old timers were able to help me to begin to change. Not easy for sure. I not only began to learn how to start thinking in a positive way, but to include prayer and meditation with all of this. And, over a long time in here, my thinking and my way of living started to change into the positive manner I so desperately needed.
The Steps and the Traditions began to help me to start living a very good way of life and thinking. Through the help of my old sponsor, his wife, and others, I became able to believe and rely on my Higher Power for this new way of life. Peace and happiness began to come on early in this program. I grew in faith, hope, and love. My ability to listen and pay attention to those, who knew how this program worked, grew within me and began to show, as my time in here became much regular.
Anyway I need to stop now. I was not encouraged by some of those new people spoke finally. I can only hope they will get hold of some long time sober members and begin to quiet down and start to listen, as I and so many others had to do. And I know I need to do what we all had to do, to give thanks and express my gratitude to my sponsors and old timers in here for what they did to help me stay sober. But more important is what I was given by my Higher Power. I need to express my gratitude and love.