Today we had a subject on gratitude. For myself, I cut it short and didn’t really participate. What I was hearing kept throwing my mind off track and I couldn’t quite get back on track. I thought I might be off the subject, but something was there I couldn’t identify.
When I got home I was still not on track. I knew I was tired and had a lot I needed to take care of, for which I had no answer. So, I sat down and picked up the Big Book and opened it. I found myself on the Third Step and was suddenly looking at what I had failed to think of. And that was stepping back from where I was, and doing what the Third Step told me to do.
I discovered that I had to ask my Higher Power to relieve me of the bondage of self. I had to surrender, once again, and accept his will and do it. I finally realized that he had to take away my errors and give me victory over them, so that I could help those who needed it. And like the prayer says, “May I do Thy will always!”
Simple and do-able. And that took me back to what I probably failed to do in starting this day. I had a number of worries to begin with this day, and probably failed to turn my will and my life over. One woman said I had helped her, when I told her she didn’t know that she didn’t know. That was me this morning I found out.
Anyway, the reading and discovery brought me back to where I knew that I need to stay sober this day. Like I was told, one day at a time. I am grateful for the truth, even when I still don’t have the answers I need. I know that the Serenity Prayer is where I need to go and let go, and ask my Higher Power to relieve me of the bondage of self, so that I can do his will, and stay sober a day at a time.