One of those things, which I can only guess causes most of us trouble, is that time takes time. Not a few days, nor weeks, months, but years. However, while all of this is going on, I discovered a few gifts given to me. One was what I would go in and out of along the way, and that was happiness and moments of peace. And that was mostly dependent on my growth in that Second Step.
And what got in the way, as I was beginning to progress, was what ran most of my time drinking alcohol, and that was my negative emotions, which did my thinking for me. All the resentments and self pity, anger, depression, feeling sorry for myself, often revenge, and on and on. I had to change, or else, like my first sponsor, who had a resentment and went out and drank alcohol and died.
What helped to begin my change in thinking was the Second Step. My beginning to try to live a spiritual way of life, and also my start to develop a relationship with my Higher Power. But I also had to start to listen to my new sponsor and a lot of old timers, who knew how to change my thinking, and get rid of negative emotions. I did, as I was going through the Steps in here, and renewing my thinking in my mind, and not my negative feelings.
None of this was an overnight event, as I was thinking about in the beginning. Again, time takes time. But part of that time was an increase in peace of mind and feelings. My thoughts began to be more positive, as time went on. And the worst thing I seemed to have discovered was that my “old enemies” were not guilty of my anger and hatred. That was the insanity of my negative emotions, which had taken over, while I was drinking alcohol. And, gradually I was liberated. I changed.
Anyway I had to be grateful to the God of my understanding, my sponsor, and all those old timers, who helped me. All this I was able to receive through this AA program. I not only learned to have faith, hope, and love, but compassion. I also learned to forgive and forget. All this I have been able to do by staying sober one day at a time. Going to meetings and listening and sharing what I have received in here. To also be open to giving what I have received to those who need to get sober. But to be able to give my thanks to my Higher Power, and all those who have helped me.