Are praying and meditating perfect spiritual acts for you? I often wonder about this, because I read and believe that being a saint is not available to someone like myself. I wake up each day and am very aware of my being human, and open to whatever will trip me up from time to time. Like my sponsor and those old timers told me again and again, and I saw examples of this through the years.
Every once in a while I will find myself stumbling and bumbling and tumbling in life. Not terrible, but definitely human. And that always reminds me of what my living a sober life in this program is like for me. This is not a complaint, but just another human thought.
All this is why I often stop and sit down and write my thoughts out. I know from experiences how often I have to stop and convince myself that I need to take the time to think about why I am here. I learned that a long time ago, when my old sponsor opened the door to this spiritual way of life through the Second Step. Never want to forget that.
I know that I am often envious, when I hear others tell me how they can spend a lot of time wrapped up in contemplation. That almost knocks the wind out of me. I mean I can always try to do this, but it often doesn’t work. I know I am not alone, but it still bothers me on occasions. I can well remember many years ago, when I was studying for the ministry, many monks and ministers, who would go deeply into meditation and contemplation. It often took my breath away.
And then I stop from time to time and remember what I was told back a long time ago. And that was when one monk told us that what we need are three things: Faith, hope, and love. And then I add compassion.
Anyway, I had a lot of things, which were interrupting me today, and I had to stop and think about all of this. Truthfully I am adding Faith, hope, and love, including compassion to these moments. Makes me thankful for all that has been given to me over time. And I know I am not alone.