I had a funny thought this morning. I was thinking about Bill W. He was a man who used the word “love” a lot. In fact love and tolerance is our code. He says that we’re to have true love for God and fellow man. And in a book, which contains his writings, outside the BB and 12&12, it is entitiled the Language of the Heart. It should have been the Language of Love.
The thought I had was whom do I love. Do I love what I’m doing? I hear some say that they love AA. I hear people say I love to go to meetings. A woman I know says that she fell in love with meetings from the first.
Back in the 70s, when 12th step calls were an everyday occurence, I used to hate being sent out on a call. Probably because I felt I didn’t know what I was doing. I would grumble all the way, until I got there and then everything changed. I found I loved talking to the sick and suffering alcoholic. I still do. Not initially, but as we go on, I find myself loving what we talk about.
In the end, I too find that I do love this program. It not only saved my life, it enriches my life each day. I too love going to meetings and immersing myself in the people around me. I know that I really like some and I don’t like others, but I love them all. If anyone of them was in trouble, I would want to help them. The likes and dislikes. I guess that’s a form of love. I was told that I didn’t have to like everyone, but I should love them.
Finally, I was thinking about a loving God. Bill talks about that in the traditions. A loving God. The question is do I love Him? I guess this is the God, whom I reached out to on my last day drinking and begged Him to stop me from drinking and living the life I had been living. And, He did. I see the evidendce of that love everyday, when I see so many alcoholics, who have been pulled back from the brink in meetings. CS Lewis once wrote that we should love God because he loves us. And if we don’t, we should act as if we do. Sooner or later it will come true.
I can’t say I really know what love is, but I think I’m learning. It’s part of what keeps me sober.