Talking to a friend today, we shared two similar stories. One was of a clergyman, who wanted to stop drinking. He went into his church to ask God to help him stop drinking. Before he did that, he poured himself a drink, took a swig, and started to pray. This process went on, him stopping to take another swig and then continuing with his prayers.
The other I heard from a woman, who started to crave a drink, and prayed to God to keep her from drinking. She went out to her car and begged God to stop her from drinking. She drove to a package store and before she went in, asked God to stop her. She went up to the counter, bought some booze, went back to the car, opened a bottle, and as she put it to her lips, asked God to stop her from drinking.
How many times in my past I could relate to the inaction both these individuals exhibited. Bill’s old quotation, that faith without works is dead. After each one of these people entered the program, it was clear where they went astray. But in their drinking they were both exhibiting their being powerless over their drinking. How clear that is in their lack of right action.
Bill’s story of the man, who hadn’t drank in 25 years, and then retired, believing he could now drink safely, is almost the same story. He didn’t know that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
We either fail to maintain our prayer life or we pray, when it’s too late. What I have learned of the spiritual life, so far, is that there is no vacation from our alcoholism. We have to maintain this way of life on a daily basis. Alcohol never takes a minute off. It’s always available, even when we’re not thinking about it or are totally unaware of its presence.
These stories are a reminder of what’s wrong with my thinking. They tell me that I have the mind of a chronic alcoholic. My only defense against the kind of results in these stories is not my knowledge, but something far deeper. My defense is grace. Pure and simple. My attendance to the maintenance steps is a must. Ten, eleven, and twelve. An occassional tune up, when necessary, and even when it’s not, by carefully going through the othe nine, is what keeps me spiritually fit. When I let up, is the day I begin to backslide.
I must remember the lines, that there may come a day…
Just thinking about my conversation with my firend.