Last night I heard a phrase, which was attributed to our old friend Dr. Carl Jung. Oceanic experience. It was described as a moment in time, when a person is caught up in wonderment of their smallness in relation to the universe and their being part of it. Having been to sea in the Navy, I have some idea of what he was talking about. Even though our ship was big, it was nothing in comparison to the ocean, which seemed so vast and our vessel so small. But, I’m sure my description is inadequate to what Jung meant.
My guess is that the “oceanic experience” is something related to his recommendation to Rowland H. in the BB. A spiritual experience, or as it is termed in the steps, a spiritual awakening. This last is given to us by Bill and the old timers, who realized that not many of us were going to have a moment, in which we are going to receive a sudden enlightenment.
Whatever it is, I think it’s a moment, when all our defenses are down and we are open to surrender to a power greater than ourselves and become willing to change. The concept that Someone else is in charge of the world and the universe and it’s not us. A child lying in the field and looking up at the sky and aware of nothing else but the vastness of what it is seeing and being overwhelmed by the unlimited space above.
I was thinking about this today, as I was contemplating what it was that changed all of us and relieved us of our problem with alcohol. Today I realize that our surrender to the awesome power of alcohol over us is nothing to the 2nd step. That coming to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. But how small a beginning that was to what was to come as we applied these steps to our lives. It was that moment, when we had done the work in the 9th and had let go of our fight with everyone and the world around us. That moment, when we come to realize that the insanity of picking up a drink again had been lifted from us. And the realization it was not us who accomplished this.
We were changed. But that change was not up to me. I brought the willingness to the table to allow this change to take place. But it was a willingness which came not from volunteering, but being conscripted by pain.
Anyway, I was thinking about this last night and today. It’s all about not drinking a day at a time. It’s about gratitude for all that’s given to me through this program.