“Get as far away from me as you can!” That’s what my sponsor said to me in case he drank again. “I’ll take you or anyone close to me down with me.”
What he was saying was that he was an alcoholic and always would be. That there was always the possibility of falling back into becoming active again. He wanted me to be always aware of this and that if he did, he would use everyone he knew to get a drink. He said when he drank he would beg, borrow, or steal to get a drink and that could lead to others getting angry and upset and possibly their getting drunk as a result.
Tom was very basic, when it came to alcoholism. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. He would, from time to time, remind me of this. That, even though I didn’t think about a drink and wasn’t tempted by alcohol, it didn’t mean that I stopped being an alcoholic. I could never, under any circumstances take another drink. I was still just as powerless over alcohol as the day I walked into the program.
He never pushed any particular step on me. But he always wanted me to remember the basics of this disease. Particularly the First Step. He wanted me to be rid of all possible mental reservations I might have and for me to be rid of all of my old ideas. Tom was, you might say, “old school AA”. It was about alcohol and always about alcohol. It was about not drinking and the solution offered to us by this program.
There was a lot more that I was to learn from Tom, mostly from his example. He lived this program. But, I was thinking about this part of him today and being grateful for having been exposed to his friendship and directions for so many years. I owe so much of my sobriety to him; his patience and instructing me in the basics. I know that I’m still powerless over alcohol and always will be.