What is it that compels the alcoholic to go back out and drink again? Bottom line it’s alcohol. But that’s obviously not the whole picture. I’ve seen people going to meetings for years and then one day they’re drunk. What happened?
Resentments? Sometimes. I’ve had a few, who were willing to share that with me. That and self pity. Dishonesty? Anger? Drama? Drama? What’s that? That’s when our emotions take over and we blow everything in our lives out of proportion. Despair? Loss of hope. Things look so bleak that we give up. Hatred? That’s a good one.
The list could go on and on, but in the end, it’s hard to put a name on it. The BB tells us that there may come a time, when we will have no mental defense against the first drink. Just looking at that on the surface tells me that the spiritual life is already gone. I was told that before the drink that the reverse of our growth in the program will happen. First the spiritual goes, then the mental, and finally we’re hanging on by our fingernails.
I have talked to a number of people of late, who have had problems and drank again. I don’t think anyone can actually pin point what happens. I heard that someone is even writing a book on this. Hmmm.
But, that’s really not the question for the one who drinks again. The real question is can one get sober and stay sober again? That can be an even tougher question to answer. All I have to do is take a look around to get the answer to that.
It may sound like I’m being judgmental. I hope not. Because the reason I’m asking all these questions is in the hope of preventing such relapses. Further my concern is how to help these people get sober and stay that way.
I’ve had a lot of friends in here, who not only drank again, but died as a result. I hate that. Makes me want to turn the clock back and save these people. But that’s not reality. The reality is that people do relapse. They drink again and sometimes die alone and forlorn.
Why am I bothering with this? Because I want everyone, who comes here to get this program and what I have gotten in this program to date. The best thing, which has ever happened to me. I never want to lose it. And I know, what I wish I could pass on to others, that it takes effort, action, the Twelve Steps, willingness, wanting to stay sober, and to do what we all have done.
I can’t listen for others. I can’t do what others must do themselves. All I can do is be an example, to carry the message that there is a solution. The solution everyone in AA has found. That the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived. That it begins with a power greater than ourselves, after we surrender.
Anyway, I was looking at and talking to an example of a “slip” today. I could see the hopelessness in their eyes. I could only guess that the next drink was just around the corner and I had let go and let God. And give thanks for the blessings I have received. To be grateful to my higher power and all those, who helped me find the way I have found.