I was thinking today about longevity in this program. How myself and others have been able to stay sober in spite of ourselves. Well, myself anyway.
I was reminded of this in my reading of the 24 Hour a Day book for today. And the answer was exactly what my sponsor told me a long time ago. Hang in and don’t quit no matter what happens. No matter how I felt. No matter what obstacles seemed to get in the way. To persevere.
That’s what I learned back early on. I think most of us were taught the same thing. There was no going back. I was here to stay. I had been relieved of alcohol, now it was time to learn how to live. To live sober. Something I had no idea about. But I was to learn from my sponsor and those old timers. The BB and 12&12. My own experience.
I was to learn that most of my problems were of my own making. Too much thinking, too much self centered awareness, too much selfishness, too much I want what I want, when I want it, too much self will run riot. Too much dependence on my own feelings and emotions.
I had to learn to act as if and not quit. Only to find out that if I did, it would become true. That was a new one for me. Well, practically everything was new to me. After all, I had been drinking so long, if I had ever learned anything I had forgotten it.
Then there was the foundation of this program. The spiritual solution. I had to get an open mind. From a closed, sealed tightly shut mind to a new beginning. To stop questioning everyone and everything and learn to trust. To trust that I didn’t know. To stop relying so much on my “knowledge”. To begin to believe in a power greater than myself. Then to develop faith. To pray regardless of how I felt or thought. And to learn to shut up and listen. In other words, meditate.
But the bottom line of all of this was to stay and not quit. I didn’t and others didn’t either. The examples, the evidence of those who were here before us kept us here. Their words, their experiences, and the hope they offered people like me rang true in my heart and mind. I can only have gratitude to all those, who encouraged me to hang in, and to my higher power, Who gave me the grace and courage I so lacked.