Had a long talk this morning with an old friend I’ve known for years in the program. She wanted to talk about living a spiritual life. Interesting. I also had the same conversation with another friend this afternoon, when I told him about the talk this morning. Both were interesting, because he has an opposite view.
Later I had to take time to think about both of these talks. I always go back to my experience in getting sober. I didn’t want to drink, but I certainly didn’t want to live a spiritual way of life. But I found out that if I didn’t I wasn’t going to stay sober and would probably die an alcoholic death. So, yeah, I became willing.
The introduction to this way of life was the 2nd Step. Getting a higher power and being restored to sanity. The spiritual awakening. Coming to believe, trust, and surrender, and bringing the God of my understanding into my life. And the result is that I’m still sober and not the same person, who walked through these doors. The best thing that ever happened to me.
Today I am conscious of my higher power most of the time. But then there is a problem I know everyone has; that of being human. And there’s the rub. My imperfections, my character defects, my mind and my emotions dragging me back into trouble. Those moments, when I lose my conscious contact. I fall short and have to pick myself up, ask for help, and get back on track.
No one is perfect and I’m certainly on that list. I know that I’ll never reach perfection. All I can do is try to stay sober, live this program a day at a time, and try to practice these principles in all of my affairs.
Anyway, there’s a lot more, but that’s enough. At least I got what I needed today. Still sober in spite of myself and most grateful to live this way.