Thinking about what it is that keeps me on track. I know it’s basically the program, the Steps. Additionally it’s the meetings. Listening to others like myself reminding me of how this program works in their lives and mine. But there’s the changes in me. The spiritual way of life I was introduced to in the Second Step. Not just in the BB, but through the guidance of my sponsor.
What I was thinking about early on today was my recognition of how I am still changing. Doesn’t matter how long I’ve been sober, I’m still changing. I suddenly became aware of something in me that has changed. A gentle push within me revealed that. What is it? I really don’t know. I can only guess. But, as my sponsor was always willing to tell me, my problem was that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. And how right he was, as I was to learn over time.
Whatever it is, I’m going to leave it alone. I really don’t have to know. I’ve found that out over time, as a result of other changes I have experienced in this program. I’m just grateful that I’m not standing still, despite time and age. I still talk to others. Some I listen to and share my own experiences with them. Hopefully helping them to pay attention to their own sobriety. In others I’m sharing with them in order to help cut my problems in half. It always works, if I will work it.
Once again, today we were talking about the Twelfth Step and helping others achieve sobriety…or at least trying. Like others said, just going to a meeting is a Twelfth Step. I’m the beneficiary. It makes me grateful. Just a point of emphasis on what that Fifth Tradition is all about. The long form of that Tradition states: Each AA group ought to be a spiritual entity, whose one primary purpose is to carry its message to the alcoholic, who still suffers.
How often I and others can find ourselves suffering from our own thoughts and defects. Let alone talking to the newcomer and others, who are coming back after a slip. Makes me grateful for these meetings.
It is this kind of day, which draws me back to the time I came in and lets me know why I came here in the first place. I never want to forget what alcohol did to me and how I finally got free of that slavery which alcohol had held me in for so many years. I try to remember to thank my Higher Power for releasing me from the bondage of alcohol and putting me in these rooms with others like myself, who are staying sober. I owe so much to the God of my understanding and the people in these rooms, who have acted for Him in helping me to stay sober. Thanks.