One of the hardest things I think for the new man or woman coming into sobriety in the program is the way it may be presented to them. I know back, when I came in, it was straight forward and about getting sober. Period. On a number of occasions I have heard things, which I know, if I was the new person I would have had a lot of puzzlement as to what was going on.
What am I talking about? Religion. Sounds crazy, but that’s what I had to think, as I listened to those responding to this new alcoholic. Everyone was talking about God and their basic beliefs. My thought was this. Did they know that it would be better to leave that kind of talk out of the beginning? Just stick to the basics, as they did early on for me. The spiritual way of life was for later as I learned.
There is another reason to lay off all the talk about our beliefs. The program does not limit people, who have no beliefs. I am aware that people today are not given to seek what this program is really about. I can only guess listening to them that few know the history and how this program was founded and formed, as it went along.
One of these was that in the beginning Bill and Dr. Bob and those newcomers were all in the Oxford Movement, which in a very real sense was basically religious. Then Bill and Lois were asked to leave the movement, because it was felt that their involvement with alcoholics was beginning to mess their program up. That was in NYC. Dr. Bob was in Akron, Ohio and his group in the Oxford was made up of alcoholics in Akron and Cleveland. The Irish Catholic alcoholics were told they weren’t supposed to attend a religion outside of their own and not to go to Oxford Movement. That ended the connection to the Oxford Group and religion.
Then some of those in the program back then, who were atheists and agnostics, who were working on the BB and the Steps for publication argued their positions and had the language in the Steps, referring God modified and even changed to the phrase Higher Power and the God of our understanding. And even in the literature, especially in the chapter Working with others, we’re given instructions how to deal with the newcomer. We’re told not to describe our concept of the God of our understanding. We’re to leave it up to the individual to believe in whatever makes sense to them.
So we’re supposed to leave the door open to all who come here to get sober. It’s not up to us to educate them in what we believe or not. It’s their choice. Bill W. did that back early on and drove many alcoholics away. He later tells how much he regretted that and how bad he felt for doing that and said that it was his spiritual pride, which drove him.
I know that in telling our stories and sharing we can get caught up in our enthusiasm as to what it is that we have grown into. My take on all of this is to talk about the basics of getting sober. It’s what I have learned from my sponsor and those old timers. Surrender and acceptance, when it comes to that First Step. That I learned I cannot stay sober by myself and I have to go to meetings. There was no limit back then. Just go to meetings. And to be quiet and listen. That, if they were like me, I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I just thought I did. And to not take that next drink just for today. And to talk to people in the room and to get someone who can help them.
Anything else I believe is just setting them up for more confusion than they already have in their alcoholic minds, just fairly fresh from their last drink. And I have to remember that time takes time. The Second Step and what it means is down the road, if they don’t drink and keep coming to meetings.
Anyway that’s what I was thinking after the “flood” today. I hoped that what was said didn’t push this person away.
Still I was grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts. I didn’t share the above, although I almost did near the end, but left it for another time. I talked to a fairly new person about this and he agreed with what I said.
Just happy to be sober this day.