Sitting here today I’m glad that I have this time to rest up. Yesterday I was in the perfect place for temptations to that next drink. I had to attend a wedding for a close relative. Believe me there was all kinds of alcohol and people doing a lot of heavy drinking.
Although I am a close relative, because of a mix up I was placed at a table with a lot of young people, who didn’t hesitate to take that next drink over and over. I didn’t spend a lot of time at the table and was, I hope, open and kind to those sitting there. However, wherever I looked that seemed to be the story for most of the ballroom, where the reception was being held.
Of course I knew some of the people in attendance and was aware of their drinking habits. A lot of them are candidates for the rooms, where I choose to spend my time at meetings. And my observations of them was that they were doing what someone like me would be doing, if I were in their place. I’m not criticizing them. They are who they are and that’s it.
I can say one thing about all of this. It was tiring to say the least. I had no vehicle so I had to spend around five hours in what became a noisy and noisier affair. Funny thing was I spent most of my time at the small bar outside the ballroom. It was empty. The bar in the room was the busiest place that night. No one was at this little bar, except the bar tender. So I spent the hours there drinking sodas and watching a football game on TV.
I was fortunate. I had no temptation to take that next drink. For that I am grateful to my Higher Power for the grace I was given. And I really had no special feelings for those drinking to excess. Like I said, if it had been me back then, I would have been right in the middle of all of the drinking and going-ons. I definitely could recognize myself in many of them around me. So judgment is not the game I played last night.
If anything I had a touch of compassion for the ones I knew whose conditions are probably worsening. My hope is that in time they will achieve the same point and place that I did so many years ago. I hope they will be touched by their Higher Power, as I’m sure I was. But I have no power over any of this. Just hope.
I felt the same thing for some of the younger ones, whom I could easily identify with. Just witnessing some of them I knew how I must have appeared back then. I have no wish for any trouble for them. But, if they are like I was, I really feel compassion for them. Hope they do better.
Anyway I had moments during all of this, when I went briefly back mentally to meetings. More a quick mental picture. And I was grateful for all that I have been given. When I finally got home I could remind myself of what a relief. It was hardly boring. In fact I did have a lot of laughs, when I saw them dancing and frolicking. But, like I said, it was tiring for me.
Glad I am where I am. Sober and still wanting to grow along spiritual lines in this program. Never want to ever drink again. What a reminder!