Happy, joyous, and free. The BB tells us that they believe that’s exactly what God wants for us. And that was pretty much what I was thinking about and what the meeting was about today. Two subjects, joy and gratitude. Perfect for us alcoholics.
And that was pretty much what most of us, who have had time in said. Joy came to us as a result of getting sober and putting this program into action. Happiness too. Like the Promises said, a new freedom and a new happiness. That’s been my experience and still is. Freedom from alcohol and the joy and happiness, which came over me as a result of this. Took a while to really experience the whole thing, but it was worth it.
I think for most of us, that at first we have a long time in struggling with all the stuff we dragged in with us. Takes time to work all this stuff out through the practice of these Steps. But it’s also a period when I began to grow up for the first time in my life. Not easy. Very uncomfortable at first. In fact I really didn’t know that was going on until one day it became clear to me that things had changed and so had I.
Then there were periods where I had to deal with my emotional life. Learning to stop allowing my emotions to run my life. Actually part of Six and Seven when I think about it. Lot of Tenth Stepping for a long time. Like I’ve always said it was not an overnight event. Time takes time. And a lot of what was wrong with me was definitely deep rooted. Took a lot of faith in my Higher Power to help heal this stuff. A lot of the Eleventh Step. And of course, the Twelfth. Working with others to aid me to stay away from my own ego.
Every time I stop and think about that word joy I realize how aware I am of the presence of that blessing in my life today. Happiness and joy. And not to forget the freedom. Freedom from alcohol and the insanity of alcohol. The spiritual awakening. The restoration to sanity.
And that definitely brings up the thought of gratitude. Gratitude can be a feeling, but if I waited around for a feeling I’d probably find myself dissatisfied. The truth for me is that gratitude is an action word. I didn’t make that up, it was passed along to me by my sponsor and those old timers. That’s one of the reasons I go to meetings on a regular basis. To be available to share my experience, strength, and hope. An expression of my being grateful for what has been so freely given to me. Never want to forget.
Anyway just wanted to take some time to sit and think about all of this. One of the gifts I have been given in this program. The experience of being able to write my thoughts down in a form of meditation. Helps me stay focused. Just expressing my gratitude.