Earlier today I was concentrating my thoughts on the spiritual aspect of this program. More on prayer and meditation than anything else. The result was mixed. I did write a meditation, which is pretty much what I do regularly. Did get in some time in contemplation. Found I’m still imperfect in all of this, especially prayers.
I was glad that I went to the meeting today to listen to people like myself, who let me hear their reasons for going to meetings. It was pretty much what I just wrote above. I heard one of my friends, who talked about his imperfections and his need to be at meetings to be reminded of things he needs to do to help him stay sober. Me too.
I did hear at least one person, who talked about how he would become complacent and would end up feeling satisfied. He would then stop going to meetings, because he felt he didn’t need them anymore. The result was that he would end up drunk again and in worse condition than when he first came in. He now attends meetings on a fairly regularly basis. He knows he cannot afford to stop going to meetings anymore.
I know that I’m “grateful” for my imperfections. They’re a reminder for me to keep going to meetings so that I can work on them. One of the things meetings do for me is when my imperfections throw me off base the meeting will bring me back down to earth and remind me of things I need to do. At the end of the meeting, and sometimes before, I will feel much better than when I walked in. I feel relieved.
I definitely know that my regular attendance at meetings helps me to keep my focus on why I came here in the first place. I came to get sober and I did. Meetings bring my attention to help me concentrate on what I need to do to stay sober. I’m ever reminded of the importance of the Second Step. It helps me to pay attention to the need I have to continue to try to live a spiritual way of life. What Dr. Carl Jung told Rowland H. he needed to do, if he was ever to get sober. To seek a spiritual experience. And of course that is exactly what this program is about.
How often I’m reminded by what people say in describing their journeys into and through their sober lives. How they had to learn to stop being in control over what they have no power. To get out of the driver’s seat on the bus and move to the back. How we all need to turn our lives over to a Power greater than ourselves. Our concept of a God of our understanding. My Higher Power. Not once but each and everyday and often during the day.
I’m reminded that the spiritual life is not a theory. I have to live it with those around me. I learned that I have to develop compassion and love for others and to practice it in the Twelfth Step. To give to others what I discovered in here through my Higher Power and my fellow alcoholics. What was so freely given to me. Like the program teaches us that we have to give it away in order to keep it. Amazing.
Anyway I know that I got a lot out of this meeting. Not that I haven’t heard a lot of this before, but I found I can always use what others have. Hopefully I can share the same with others. Part of my exercise of gratitude.