Going back in time to the early days of this program a lot of things happened, which probably saved the lives of a lot of alcoholics. As we sit in meetings and hear others talk we sometimes may be startled and wonder how all of this happened.
What am I thinking? I’m thinking about how this program stepped away from religion, when it left the Oxford Group, and how it opened the door to so many, who needed it. I’m thinking about the entrance of not only people, who have a Higher Power different than what we’re used to, but also agnostics and even atheists. Reading the history of this program and having known at least one, who was there in the beginning, when they broke away from the Oxford movement helped me to understand.
Again I’m reminded of Bill W. and what he said about the damage he did by driving many an alcoholic away, because he preached to them about what he wanted them to believe. It filled him with guilt just to think about it. He claimed it was his spiritual pride, which drove him to do it. When he realized what he was doing, he stopped and never went there ever again.
When we’re reading the BB about finding a Higher Power, I think it’s important to come to realize that whatever it is has to make sense to us and not to anyone else. I think I remember one person who had taken a tree early on in her sobriety for her Higher Power. Later she said she found a God she didn’t understand and that was where she was when she told this part of her story. But that is exactly what the BB tells us. We’re not here to teach the new man or woman what it is we believe. The book tells us that it is up to the individual to find whatever it is that makes sense to them. That’s in Working With Others.
We were talking about growing along spiritual lines and acquiring a Higher Power today. Some of this came out in the group as people responded to the subject. Interesting. Some were outspoken on their beliefs, but some were just the opposite. But it was a demonstration to me of the freedom we all have in here, when it comes to this spiritual way of life. In general there’s nothing we can do, as I see it, which will takes us off the track on the way to a spiritual awakening. We just have to follow the Steps and Traditions laid out for us, have the honesty we all need, and an open mind. The rest will follow and we will, as I have found out, find the sobriety we are seeking.
Talking to a friend after the meeting, who has some opposite views, I found that I was comfortable not believing as he did. I knew I had my own Higher Power and hope and faith in what I have come to believe. So far I am comfortable with where I am with this. I do know that as long as I live I will definitely not be done. I have come to know that things change as I find myself still growing along spiritual lines.
I do know that I believe what the BB says that the spiritual life is not a theory. We do have to live it. And that’s up to each of us individually. And, as I look around these rooms and listen, I find that I am comfortable with what I hear from each person, when we talk about spirituality and the spiritual life we all have found here. I know that my sobriety is based on the spiritual awakening I have found in here. And when I think of this I go back to There Is A Solution. Dr. Carl Jung’s instructions to the young man, who was trying to get sober and had failed. He told him to seek a spiritual experience. All I know is that man showed up in the Oxford movement and was sober. He helped Ebby T., who showed up at Bill W’s. home and began Bill’s journey into sobriety and the AA program. This same young man was in the letter Bill sent to Dr. Jung. He told him that not only had he gotten sober, but he had lived a sober life and died in sobriety. What did that young man come to believe and what was his experience? It’s really none of my business. It’s what I believe and what my experience is.
Of course that doesn’t mean that I don’t share my experience in here. I do and I do listen to the experiences of others. In fact, as I listened today I heard my story from someone else. Everytime I do identify with others my hope in this way of life grows, as does my faith. And that leads me to compassion for others and makes me willing to try to help.
Once again I’m thinking and meditating on staying sober and am grateful for all I have found in here.