One of the things I learned in here was how to deal with others, whom I find pulling me into their troubles. Often that happens, when we find ourselves trying to help them, when they’re suffering from illness. Unfortunately I have seen the results of this to many times. The person dies and the caring person is dragged into anger and resentments as a result. Angry at our Higher Power. Blaming God for all of this. Like I said, I have seen this over and over. I know others have, also. They have told me about these events.
The same person, just as always, blame themselves. Cannot forgive themselves. All this can, and sometimes does, cause them to go back to drinking alcohol again.
I learned a long time ago that none of us can assume the responsibility for what we have no power over. And, of course, this is what the Serenity Prayer is about. Learning that I need to accept the things I cannot change. I learned that’s virtually everything outside of myself. All I know I can change is myself.
My experience on all of this is to listen to these people, not so I can help them, which I know I can’t, unless they surrender and change. What I have often heard over and over again is what is really wrong. And what that is is the person being controlled by their own determination. They’re in control, or so they think. And all of this is the result of their negative emotions taking over and running their life. What those old timers told me I had to get rid of.
Once again I find that I’m talking about what works in here for someone like me. And that’s what those old timers back a while learned, that we had to operate our intellect over our emotions. They knew from their own experiences how dangerous these old negative emotions were. And this is where I found I had to bring my Higher Power, the spiritual way of life, into my own life. My sobriety. I had to learn to step back, ask my Higher Power for help. And then to stop my day and start it over again. I had to get rid of my negative emotions running my life, and take on a positive attitude, and then step back into living a good sober way of living.
I also knew, when possible, to talk to someone and share what was happening to me. I know that I need to live a spiritual way of life. I have to begin each day with prayer and dedication to staying sober this day. To stay away from projecting into the future. To live in the present. And also to stay away from going back into the past and comparing the schedule ahead of this day, with my past experiences. Dragging negative emotions back into my life.
I am grateful for having been given so much by my old sponsor and those old timers. I am also thankful for all of those who have helped me along the way, to live a sober life. I have received so much that peace and happiness, hope, faith, love, and compassion have been given to me to help others. All this has been given to me by my Higher Power. I often wish I could pass it along to those who are suffering from their negative emotions running their lives. But I have to step back and focus on my own sobriety, and how I have been blessed. Again, thanks.