One of the most irritating things, which comes in and bothers me and others, is my temper. My anger. Not that I put it out and into lives these days, although sometimes I do, but it somehow irritates me. And sometimes others. And sometimes it goes on far enough to end up a resentment.
And, again, I’ve seen steps of anger in here, which has led to returning to alcohol, and even death as a result. It’s what woke me up early on, when two men I knew, went back out and drank and died. Over time in here, I have seen this again and again, And I know that I want to stay sober and not ever drink again. But I almost did early on and I want to get away from these faults of mine.
Often I have learned that I need to go to the Tenth Step and apply the spiritual axiom, that whenever I’m disturbed there is something wrong with me. I’m to leave others alone and deal with my problems. I need to not only to go to my Higher Power, but often a sponsor, or another long sober individual. I need to practice learning to pray to my Higher Power, but to also talk to another human alcoholic like myself. Like the BB tells me, I’m not a saint. Just another human drunk.
Also I needed to learn to start my day with the Serenity Prayer. To accept the things I cannot change. And that’s everything and everyone. I need to step back and let go and let God as I understand Him. But I can change me, with help. And I need to learn to take care to pray and ask for getting over my anger. Like one old timer kept telling us, we have to change our negative attitude, our negative emotions, over to a positive attitude. I was told that I needed to stop and start my day over. Prayer and meditation.
Anyway I heard others talking about this today and it helped me to stop and pray and ask for help. And then give thanks and dedicate my day to staying sober. I was grateful to be reminded of where I am and how I need to continue to work this program and change. I want to stay sober each and everyday. To be a better person. To be at peace and happiness I was given as I was able, with help, to put his program into action in my life. And I am thankful to my Higher Power and all those, who have helped me.