I had to go back today and think about the past in here because of a few memories, which a statement reminded me of. There was some talk about prayers and statements in the program. And someone brought up resentments. And then I was reminded of what the BB told us. And that was that our problems were of our own making. We had to stop fighting anybody or anything. Then it states, We have to!
And then I remembered that, when I was early on in here, I didn’t believe any of this. I was easily angered and blamed everyone and everything. I believed that I wasn’t the blame. Everyone else was. But time took time and over time I began to learn what it was I definitely needed to know. And that spiritual axiom in the Tenth Step eventually told me. It stated that whenever we’re disturbed, no matter what the cause there is something wrong with us. And I have to let go of blaming others. I have to deal with myself. And that was a new one for this alcoholic.
In fact, as time went on, I often discovered, after I accepted my part and let go of others, that often they had nothing to do with what had disturbed. Me. It was just that…Me.
I had to learn how to apply the spiritual principles in here to my life. Like I was told, I had to let go and let God. Not an easy way of thinking and living. But over time, as I began to learn I was not in control, I began to understand that I had ;to just do that. Let go and let God. To give up being overwhelmed by negative emotions. And, as time went on, I did. I began to learn to back off and stop blaming others. I had to let go. And I did begin to do that.
Anyway I had to do that. To begin each day with saying prayers and start staying sober a day at a time. Makes me grateful. All the help I have been given by my Higher Power and all these members,, who have helped me, makes me begin to act positive and express my thanks by helping others. Living compassion and care.