Today I went back and re-read the 12th Step in the 12&12 for a reason, which we all have to go back and re-read it. On the last page it states something, which Bill W. and others back then did not know at that time. And that was the knowledge they and all of us have grown into over time. And that we are people, who have found a way out of the past we brought in here, and are able to pass it on to those who want and need what we have.
I know for myself that it took time to get this in my life. I certainly was buried in my old way of feeling and thinking. Fortunately there were those in here, who had grown to the point on that page, who helped me over time to begin grow along those lines myself. In fact I can look back now and realize how my Higher Power and this spiritual life in here have completely changed my life.
Peace and happiness have continued to grow. I know that hope, faith, and love have become part of my life, which has helped me to change. Have grown in compassion, and also have been able to practice how to cut off those negative emotions, which are still around. Especially that terrible one, resentments, which, as the BB points out have made alcoholics drink again and die.
This last one is what I witnessed early on. It changed my life when it hit me in my insides. I saw what it did to my first sponsor and another long time member. It’s what got me to ask for help from the alcoholic, who became my long time sponsor. I have to thank my Higher Power for the gift he was in changing me. I was able to, over time, to put what I thought I knew outside the door, and to begin to slowly free myself from my lack of truth.
The Serenity Prayer is re-emphasized to remind me of how important it is in my life. I have learned to let go of blaming others for what goes on within me. I had to learn how to let go of blaming others for my negative feelings. I’m the responsible one.
Anyway this was a definite reminder of the positive gifts I have been given in my life. The amazing changes I have undergone. I know I have to look right where I am today. I’m sober. That was the miracle beginning in my life. And then there are all the other gifts and blessings I have been given. I owe so much to my Higher Power and all these old timers, who along with Bill W. and Dr. Bob have given me what I so desperately needed. And also I am grateful to all a those who continue to help me from day to day.