One of those great things I have learned in here was how to let go and depend on my Higher Power. Not always easy for someone like me…or probably any alcoholic like myself.
When I came into this program, after I had already surrendered to God I understood back then, I found myself buried in my ego, my pride, thinking I new the answers to everything. I hadn’t found myself open to honesty. And then I got nailed by an old timer, who challenged me, which was the beginning for me in this program.
I had opened my mouth and was talking whatever in here, and he shouted out and told me to “SHUT UP!”. He said I knew how to drink alcohol, but I didn’t know how to stay sober. What he had done, which I didn’t know at that time, was to give me a wake up call. Surprisingly, after my initial anger, I found myself filled with peace. How did that happen?
As time went on, this is what seemed to happen, which began to help me to open up to the truth of my alcoholism and my life. It was amazing.
The truth was, I discovered, when I went into that Second Step, I began to become willing to begin to practice and eventually live a spiritual way of life. And I also woke up to my Higher Power. And that, along with the rest of the Steps, began to change my life. I found peace and happiness. I found hope, faith, and love. I did get that spiritual awakening and the restoration to sanity. I began to outgrow my lack of honesty. To have compassion and do that Twelfth Step with newcomers. My life changed.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today, much of what we talked about. Made me happy and to come home and sit down and think about this. Here I am, living my sobriety a day at a time, and glad that I was given so much help from my old sponsor and those old timers. But it was the God of my understanding that began to fulfill what I so desperately needed in here. Makes me grateful.