We were pushed to talk about humility today. Always makes me wonder how I am doing, when I need to talk about that. I remember those old timers reminding me that we are not saints. We’re human alcoholics, who are going to stumble and tumble over ourselves, even if we begin our days committing ourselves to our Higher Power and this spiritual way of life.
Again, I cannot forget what those old timers told me. That, no matter what, we will find ourselves going back and forth, from the spiritual way of life and then running into our defects and being run by our negative emotions. And then they would remind me that I had to stop and step back, asking for help from my Higher Power, and talking to another alcoholic, if I can. After that, I was told, I have to start my day over from the negative to the positive.
They told me much of what I was able to witness. That no matter what, this stumbling was going to go on until the end of our lives. I know, back when I came in, that they had to puncture my over sized ego to help me listen and learn what I needed to do to stay sober. However I have learned overtime in here, that our egos return to that oversize again and again. I just have to be aware that this will happen and be prepared to step back and to once again practice humility.
Anyway, I was grateful that I was once again reminded of what this is all about. A reminder of what it is I have to do to stay sober one day at a time. To continue to attempt to practice this spiritual way of life. To remember to try to put these Steps into action each and everyday. To develop faith, hope, and love for my Higher Power, and then this program and all the people in it, and those who step up and want our help. And to remind myself that I am not in charge. I’m here to be of service, freely giving what was freely given to me. I need to say thanks.