Daily thoughts are not always easy in this way of life. For part of this is all about not drinking and staying sober a day at a time. That’s the main part. Then there are all my friends and others in here, whom I have some “business” at times, but then there are days of silence, so to speak. There are other things I just have to leave alone.
Probably the main thing in here is my spiritual way of life, which I was given fairly early on. I do experience gratitude and peace of mind. I know I have to pray and think about my relationship with my Higher Power. Not always easy in the silence, which I do experience. But I do know, over time in here, that there are times I can be at peace in the silence within.
But in the matter of my relationships with my Higher Power and my friends and others that I need to be focused on the matter of love, compassion, hope, and faith within. When I do, I know that I do find peace and often happiness. When I sometimes stumble, and find I forget, I can and do feel uncomfortable, at times. But I also know that I am an alcoholic and a human. I’m not a saint.
So, I do know that, as I learned from my sponsor and others, that I will stumble and bumble and tumble over times. This, I was told, is what will happen right up until the end. I was taught that, when this happens, that I must wake up and turn toward my Higher Power and ask for help. Then to pick myself up and straighten up and go to the positive and not the negative. And then go back and focus on why I am here.
From time to time I know I have to stop and think about these things in here. Like the literature of this program tells me, none of this will not happen from time to time. I have to focus on why I am here each and everyday. I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. And, as a friend of mine just reminded me of what an old friend of ours reminded us, we’re here because we are not all there. Amen to that.
So, for all the good, which has been granted to me and so many others, I have to extend my gratitude to my Higher Power, and all who have helped me to learn and practice this program, because of all I have been given. The truth is, despite my junk, I am a very happy member of this great program.