Life is not always easy. I have been going through a number of things, which have nothing really to do with me. But I have had a number of friends in here, who are going through rough times. Unfortunately I have deep caring for most of them and that is not always easy to swallow. I know I wish I could reach out and help them and fix them. That’s not in my control. I know that, but it still backs me off.
I know what I need to do and try to do it. I pray and know that I should be turning these things over to my Higher Power. Yet my mind goes off running down the path within me and tugging me to try to take control. Even though I know that’s not why I am here. I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. And I’m supposed to be willing to step back and let the God of my understanding be my leader and run this program and all those within it, including me and my friends.
Today has turned out to be rough day for me. I have a close relative in a tough place medically. Along with others I am being tugged at to try to fix things I know I cannot. Just reminds me of the Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change. I know I have to let go. but that’s not easy for this alcoholic.
I need to pray and continue to try to live a spiritual way of life. I know that my sobriety is dependent on me doing that. I also know that it’s one day at a time and that I”m not supposed to project into the future. I need to step back and let go. I often find myself trying to do what I was told to do a long time ago by my old sponsor, to let go and let God. I do know that I have to continue to try to let go and “give the controls over to my Higher Power”. I know that’s what I need to do. And I will do my best, I hope. I know I need to thank my Higher Power for all I have been given, beginning with the freedom from alcohol, and then the rest of this wonderful life in here. That’s what I need to concentrate on…I hope.