Bill W. tells us in the 7th Step in the 12&12 that without some humility we’re not going to be able to stay sober. Someone brought this up in the meeting today. Their lack of humility and resistance to humility.
When I was studying Latin, the word “humus” meant earth, dirt, or in some translations, dust. The Romans used to say “from dust thou have come and to dust you shall return”. Oh, well. In other words I guess we have to get down to earth. Or to face reality as it really is.
Humility to me does not mean groveling. Down on your stomach or knees before those around us. But it does mean believing and accepting that there is a power greater than myself. Something far bigger than me. That’s a tough one for someone like me with the size of my ego. Maybe that was what the man meant, when he brought it up.
When I think of the phrase in the BB, Of myself I am nothing, my Father does the works, that’s where I am. Or should be. Believing in a higher power, who can do for me, what I can’t do for myself.
In the 7th Step, it talks about “humbly”. First word in that Step. The question for me is do I believe that, if I ask my higher power to remove a defect, which is troubling me, that He will? Or, am I going through the motions. I mean, I hope He can or will. But it’s something else to step aside and let Him do for me, what I can’t do on my own.
Bill tells us that the surrender and acceptance in the 1st Step is only the beginning of a degree of humility and that, if we’re to stay sober, it’s going to take a lot more humility. Not only that, he tells us that it’s going to take a long, long time to acquire the necessary humility.
False pride is the blockade on the path we’re walking. It’s that kind of ego that gets us to take a detour off this road and into road hazards. The kind that can definitely get someone like me drunk again.
That inner argument I have with myself on occassions about the kind of relationship with my higher power I might have is at the heart of this. When I’m having difficulties, am I willing to let go and let God? Good question. Or, am I thinking, I’ll ask for help, but I know I’m going to have to do this myself?
Anyway, as this was going around the room today, some of these thoughts were running through my mind. Then I thought about the 2nd Step. Came to believe.
That’s the key, isn’t it? It’s at this point I have to look at the evidence in the room around me. Somehow we’re all sitting there sober…in spite of ourselve. In spite of myself. Something to think about.