Talking to an old friend of mine the other day, our conversation settled on the fact that both of us were so fortunate; we had been given a second chance. We both were still alive, when we should have been dead. She is now 90 and should have been in the ground at 33, and myself over 80 and should have been gone at 42.
And that second chance came for both of us, when we got sober and entered this program.
I have always believed it began, when I got the opportunity to do what all of us do, when we work that 2nd Step. The introduction to life in the spirit, when I came to believe that a power greater than me, could restore me to sanity. And that 2nd Step is still with me on a daily basis. Not just out of gratitude, but because each day that I go back to it, I’m able to not only renew the idea that I still need a higher power to enable me to live life, but for what that Step says; to restore me to sanity on a daily basis.
That last day drinking drove me insane. It drove me into total blackness and despair. I was ready to kill myself. I couldn’t go on. But someone stopped me before I could and that led to another person telling me that there was a place, where men and women met and stayed sober together. At that moment a light went on within me. Hope.
I often go back to those last moments, when I finally realized that maybe, just maybe, I could go there and stop drinking at last. I had tried many ways to stop, but none of them worked. Now there was hope for me.
When I entered this program for the first time, it was like I had come home. That was the actual feeling as I walked through the door of my first meeting. How great was that?
This is the best thing that ever happened to me. I know that everyday I wake up sober. Like my old friend, we both are happy and grateful for what has been given to us. Hopefully both of us have expressed this gratitude through service to others. What was so freely given to us, we have tried to freely give to others. I know how much she has shared and given to me.
Anyway, on two occasions today I have been able to talk to a couple of men. I know that both of them realize what a gift this second chance at life means to them. It’s just that in the daily grind of life, we sometimes have a tendency to forget where we came from and what has happened as a result of walking through these doors. They said they needed to be reminded, as do I.
Once again, thinking about sobriety and being grateful.