I was thinking again about what a friend of mine always says, that nothing is worth a drink today. Nothing. Not the result of an argument. Not some sort of failure. Not a seemingly overwhelming problem. Not a loss of a job, or relationship, or money. Again, nothing.
This thought reinforces my thinking about my primary purpose. To stay sober and help another alcoholic.
As I sat there this morning, thinking about this, I was forced to remember just how bad my drinking experiences had become, when I finally, with the help of my higher power and this program, was able to stop. I had to ask myself, if I would ever want to drink again. The answer was simple. No.
The memory of my bottom has stayed fresh in my mind throughout the years. I never want to forget it. It’s something that I bring back to mind frequently. A reminder that what my friend said is true, nothing is worth a drink today.
Experience in this program has shown me that no matter what my difficulties may be, there is always a solution. It’s through the practice of the spiritual principles of this program that I have been able to get through the other side of my problems. Especially, if I am able not to take myself so seriously. If I can keep my emotions down to a minimum and use my head for what it was made for. To think, with the help of my higher power and the sober people around me, and not go off the deep end.
I fully realize that my sober life has been imperfect. The thought of perfection is beyond me. But practice has shown me that, if I will just try, my life gets better, no matter what.
It’s not that I sit around and think about a drink. In fact, the spiritual awakening has lifted the thought of a drink out of my life. But, I am fully aware that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. That the drink is always present in this world and that unconsciously the desire to drink will always be there. That’s the disease and that’s my nature. I’d be crazy not to be aware.
Anyway, I thought about what my friend always says and am grateful that he is around to remind me of what is the most important thought in my life.