This program is all about change. I learned that early on. Changes I need to make in order to stay sober.
However, someone brought up a topic today that counters that thought. A suggestion against change, which most of us received early on. This person received that same message and asked the group about it today. The advice against change? Don’t make any changes in your first year.
In a way, it made me chuckle. But then I had been through this a long time ago and know why we’re told that. It goes way back and was the experience of our founders and those early members, who saw the results of making changes in the first year. People, who made these unwise choices tended to get drunk. And not just the early members. Even today.
It is in fact a paradox. Something like, you have to surrender to win. We have to give it away to keep it. Change, but change yourself, and don’t change anything, which will endanger your sobriety.
However, the help we need comes from our sponsors. I know that was true for me, when I received that same advice. Whenever I was tempted to do something, I talked to him. And no matter what I did, I was told not to take that first drink. Never.
But again, I was always told I had to change or risk taking than next drink. Of course the way I was shown to make these changes was spelled out in the 12 Steps. Whenever I was reading the BB or trying to work these Steps in my life, I was in a safe place.
Anyway, as usual, I had to stop and think about this “puzzle”. Change but don’t change. Change what? My whole life. Don’t change what? Some impulsive action, which would endanger my sobriety. Like moving out of town, just to get rid of my environment and perhaps endangering my connection to the program.
I knew of others, who got a job traveling early on. Truck drivers, salesmen. And yes, they lost contact and drank again. That kind of change so dangerous for someone like me. Getting involved in a new “romance”. Unwise choices, when we’re new in sobriety. Seen a lot of that. Not good results.
Just thinking about this and staying sober.