As I start this thought this evening, I have difficulty in writing it. The reason is that it’s about something that happened at the meeting today which I find embarrassing. Of course it’s all about me.
I remember many years ago, when I was about ten years sober, I stopped talking at meetings. I went weeks, maybe a month or two, when I would just pass, if I was called upon. Finally an old timer came up to me after a meeting, where I had just done the same thing, passed. He said to me he wanted to know why I was doing this. He told me that I had enough time and practice in this program to be passing what I had learned in here on to others. He told me that I had an obligation to give away what was so freely given to me.
So, I did stop passing, but not without difficulty. What was difficult for me was that I had a hard time listening to those who later on would say: “As Ned said…” or “Ned said…”. Often times it was nothing I had said or remembered saying. But it would embarrass me. I would want to crawl down under the table in front of me.
Don’t ask me why this happens. I really don’t know. But today it happened again on three occasions. I had the same reaction. It makes me uncomfortable. And I know it makes others uncomfortable and that makes me extremely uneasy.
Now to what brought all this on. Someone brought up the 10th Tradition and outside issues. It often makes me uncomfortable, when members look up on the wall at the traditions printed up there. They read them and may bring them up, but they often express their opinion on what they mean. To me an illustration that they never read or studied them or know how they came about. Just their “opinions”.
It led some to talk about a lot of things they thought was valid to bring up and discuss. Drugs for one and a host of things, like cats dying and people being upset. As I listened to all of this I finally raised my hand near the end, when they asked if anyone else had something they wanted to say.
To begin with the history of how these Traditions came about and the difficulty groups had with them until all the groups finally accepted them needs to be looked at. First of all, they weren’t accepted at the start because of the language or the intent. Heated arguments went on and finally they were polished to the satisfaction of all. And what were their purpose? The preservation of this program so that it would be around whenever an alcoholic needed the groups and the solution.
That was why I began my remarks with the 1st Tradition. About the unity and singleness of purpose. It’s very much about the need for all members practicing humility. To put aside their personal wishes and agendas to protect and preserve this program. It’s about one thing, alcohol and the alcoholic. The members were aware of the history of he Washingtonians back at the time of the Civil War. They had a program, which was very successful in helping alcoholics get sober and stay sober. I think they had something like 150,000 members. Then something happened. They got involved in a number of outside issues. The Temperance movement against alcohol. They also got involved on one side or the other of the slavery issue in those days. Those two alone brought the Washingtonians down and it fell apart. Every alcoholic was left outside on his own.
AA knew the self destructive nature of its members, the egos, the need to be the head or president, the promoters, and all the issues in today’s society. They saw the need for humility on the part of each and every member. To put their “issues” and personalities aside for the good of the whole. They pointed out not to do so is to guarantee the failure of our program and each and every alcoholic to be left isolated and in danger of that next drink.
Like Bill W. pointed out, that we know only one thing and that’s alcohol. We don’t know about anything else. He said it is better to do one thing supremely well than many things badly.
There’s more, but this is enough for now. Just an illustration of what can happen, when we have no idea of what we’re talking about, but have a million or so opinions. Exactly what the 1st Tradition is about.
Just one other item. There has been talk and articles on maybe doing away with anonymity. Again, what I read and heard tells me about peoples ignorance of the Traditions and an expression of their opinions.
I think I have written about this before. By the time the word anonymity was included in the Traditions, AA was far passed their fears of discovery or anything else. What alcoholics, who were involved with the Traditions, knew was that anonymity was part and parcel of the spiritual nature of this program and it’s solution. It’s about humility. Ego deflation.
Speaking about ego deflation…
Anyway, just my ego talking. But still thinking about sobriety and always the need to learn, study, and understand this program, because I want to see it around for others who need it. Maybe even my grandchildren. That they might have the solution and the life I have found in here.